Part 1 intro

The Nullaboys were originally founded with the idea that rules are for morons.

It has been suggested that attempting to become a Nullaboy is practically the same as admitting that you may have been dropped on your head as a baby.

This being the case I, RADAR have taken on the heavy task of creating these rules and bylaws, after having conferred with a majority (or at least one, whichever may have come first) of other founding Nullaboys, [henceforth known as The Grand Nullaboys].

Therefore I, RADAR being of partially sound mind and body, hereby decree the following rules and bylaws in the name of The Original Nullaboys (henceforth known as The Really Grand Nullaboys), with the majority vote of at least one other Grand Nullaboy implied and enacted.

Part 2 History

The Original Nullaboys (henceforth known as The Damn Grand Nullaboys) consisted of nine likeminded individuals.

These Original Nullaboys are as follows.

Peter "Wizard" Roberts.

Peter "Johno" Johnson.

Col "Chopper" Bailey.

Gary "Agony" Payne.

Garry "Radar" Edmonds.

Tony "Paisano" Frisina.

Rob "No Name" McConnell.

Dave "Snoopy" Joyce.

Ros Joyce.

First conceived at Border village on 30\3\98, then perfected at the Gothic hotel, the favourite drinking establishment of the Original Nullaboys the above group came up with what they thought was an antidote to an admittedly and thusly perceived uppity and snobbish group called the purple circle club (those in the know will know). The Nullaboys, by their very nature drink cheap beer, really ride their bikes and only wanna have fun that doesn't cost a lot of money. One might say in general terms, that the Nullaboys were formed because of the rivalry between those that rode all the way on the 98 national rally and those that transported their bikes and failed to turn up at BALLINA.

Since the formation of the Nullaboys, numerous requests have been received to follow in the footsteps of the original Nullaboys. These newer Nullaboys, or Nullaboy followers [aka Nulla-Fullahs] have looked up to the Grand Nullaboys and asked, nay, begged for guidance in the form of rules and bylaws. After long deliberation, much libation, against our better judgement, it being no better than none, and after repeatedly coming to the conclusion that rules are for morons and bylaws not much better than in-laws, we, The Grand Nullaboys, have decreed the following section of rules and bylaws.

Part 3 Rules

1. There are no rules.
2. There are only those rules that are written on these pages.
3. If, other rules are deemed necessary for the future existence of the Nullaboys as a whole, refer to Rule No.1.
4. If Rule No.1. does not apply, refer to Rule No.2 or No.4, unless Rule No.3 suffices, in which case all other Rules are null and void.
5. There is no Rule No.5.

Part 4 Bylaws

A] General

1. There are only 9 Grand Nullaboys [see part 2 history]. They are life-long members of the Nullaboys, without possibility of parole. They may denounce their membership in front of others, but they are still Grand Nullaboys, until death or wife do them part, both being the best antidotes to fun known to man.
2. All other Nullaboys are Nullaboy followers, [henceforth known as Nulla-Fullahs] and can lose their Nullaboy birthright and membership at any time and for any reason not deemed worthy a Nullaboy by either a majority vote of Grand Nullaboys or a junta of newer Nullaboys, after securing their authority from a majority of the Grand Nullaboys, if possible, but not exclusively.

B] Specific

1. Being a Nullaboy is not an honour bestowed upon anyone.
2. Being a Nullaboy implies no recognition among other clubs or organizations as such. The Nullaboys are a loosely structured, haphazardly thrown together conglomeration of societal misfits and pranksters who like to party and get shitfaced. This is the only purpose of the Nullaboys.
3. Being a Nullaboy means never having to say you're sorry.
4. Nullaboys are to be welcomed at all times and are to be treated as the honoured guest. Should a Nullaboy arrive unannounced, they should be given food, drink and lodging if required, regardless of the method or time of their arrival and the length of their stay. No Nullaboy shall be refused hospitality, nor be asked to leave. Any Nullaboy or Nymph who feel that they have been unfairly treated, must report the offence to the High Council of the Nullaboys [consisting of 3 Grand Nullaboys ] for due deliberation.
5. Woe be to those who unsuccessfully try to influence the High Council, each case shall be judged on it's merit [case of beer is good, scotch is better ].
6. Any Nullaboy found guilty of such an offence will be fined an appropriate amount of alcohol at the following Nullaboy B-B-Q.
7. If the offence is of such magnitude that a normal fine [ or bribe ] is insufficient, an alternative fine may be imposed.

Part 5 Membership Rules

Subpart A:
Becoming a Nullaboy

Any one may become a Nullaboy, as long as he is deemed worthy of the cause by at least five other Nulla-Fullahs or two Grand Nullaboys, unless he is such a worthy human being that no Nullaboy or even Grand Nullaboy could surpass his worthiness, in which case he is too worthy to be a Nullaboy and thus not acceptable.

Subpart B:
Expulsion from the Nullaboys

1. The Grand Nullaboys say so [singly or in unison].
2. A junta of at least three Nulla-Fullahs decide upon it.
3. The Nullaboy in question shows up at a Nullaboy gathering on a Jap bike.
4. The Nullaboy in question behaves highly un-Nullaboy-like.
5. One or two Nulla-Fullahs want to get rid of someone, in which case he or they need the vote of at least another Nulla-Fullah or the counsel and authorization of the Grand Nullaboys [singly or in unison].

Part 6 Nulla-Nymph's

Subpart A:

Nymph's, or the female version/lay/object of desire/etc, of a Nullaboy is always a welcome sight, and there are never enough nymph's. Although the original Nulla-Nymph's, the grand dames of Nullaboys, have long since passed into history and their names become part of Nullaboy lore, no one remembers their names, only their faces and bodies still linger in our memories. A single rule pertains to the subject of Nymphs: If they're able-bodied and willing, let's have them.

Subpart B:

Nymph's, as described above, are to be treated as equal members of our society. Therefore, they have no rights and may lay no claim to such. They may lay, however, any Nullaboy they like, as described in part 4, subpart B, bylaw No.3. A nymph's only purpose is to provide pleasant surroundings at any Nullaboy gathering and comfort the wounded and dying.

Part 7 New Chapters

Unlike most intelligent books, this little volume is written in parts only and therefore has no chapters.

Part 8 Authorization & Enactment Of Nullaboy Rules And Bylaws

This authorization and enactment of the Nullaboy Rules and Bylaws is made valid by the signature of a majority of Grand Nullaboys [or the ones available at the time], These are the Eight Commandments of the Nullaboys [ too cheap to have ten] and are to be obeyed as such. Any infraction of the above described and outlined rules and bylaws will be punished severely and may result in the exclusion from the glorious empire of the Nullaboys.

Top of page